I've cried to many tears
I just wanted to blog about; the bullying I had to suffer through. It started in the 5th grade, and continues till today. The one thing I dislike the most is that I'll never be able to be normal. All the bullies have made me feel as if I was a monster that had to be hidden inside a 'closet'  I was your normal 10 year old boy until everyone made fun of me. Being called a "Fag" the first time is something you'll never forget. Escpecially if it's from your best friend. I hate the word I hate it so much. I don't think any other kid in my graduating class has been traumitized by humliation like I was. Most kids can remember going to there best friends house for the first time, or going to the movies with there friends WithOut there parents. I never had any of that. I never sleeped over anyones house. I never baked cupcakes. I never got into a friends pool. Becuase of all the laughter I thought I was a freak. I stayed away from everyone. Is that justice, should a kid have to hide from his own classmates? Yes, I didn't play sports Yes, I did like fashion. No, it's not alright to make fun of me. I use to cry myself to sleep thinking I didn't have any friends. My mother called my teacher one day, and my mom asked her "Is he making any friends?" "Oh of course everyones friendly to him." LIES! Theirs a differnce between laughing with you, and laughing at you. After losing that emotion of sadness, I wanted revenage. How is it that a couple of kids and a laughter could make someone lose an emotion? I had a dream once that there was a hole bunch of kids just like me, that enjoyed the spice girls, and sparkles. And we would make fun of the kids in basketball shorts, and they would cry themselves to sleep. I woke up from that dream and yelled at myself to stop that. I knew that bullying was not alright in any way, in a form of revenage or anything. Girls would talk to me, about fashion, and I'd think were friends. Some kid would call me a fag and the girl would just start laughing. I'd get so mad, and go up to the girl and tell her "Your fat!" That is the one thing you know will hurt a girl. I would hate myself later but I still loved it. This is just a small portion of how I felt, I'll probably talk about it another time.

I introduce to you Vanessa, She is the female version of myself. I know you reading this, are probably thinking, how all gays have there drag days. I'd like to clear things up for those who are confused. I know a lot of gay men who hate the fact I dress in drag. They feel as if it's setting gay rights years behind. I'm sorry to say but I love to dress up in a wig and girl clothing. It's not as if I want to be a women. I do plan on getting married in a dress. I dress up for fun. Let me explain myself, you see I crave attention, I want a lot of attention. My parents are always busy and my brother and sister don't get along with me. So I'll dress up as a girl, and get hit on by straight men, Or get staired at. I don't care as long as I get the attention. You may hate me for it, but last time I checked my happiness is the only thing that matters to me.

What I've noticed.

You may think that I'm wearing a Burberry scarf that usually goes for over 100 dollars. I'm really wearing a Walmart scarf that cost 5 dollars. Now I know it's bad to wear knock-offs. I didn't have intentions on wearing a knock off.  I have a question. Does it matter? You see the way I see it as long as you have confidence in what your wearing, then you'll look great. It doesn't matter if it's name brand or not. Yes, I guess that's what somebody who can't afford the real thing would say. But, really think about it. How much does it really matter, as long as it looks good. Fashion is not about the price tag, it's about the form you wear it. So I leave you with these words, You can believe what ever you want to believe. The truth doesn't matter, does it?

Who am I? and What am I doing here?

My name is Steven Grisales.

Who am I?

I just mentioned my name is Steven Grisales. I'm 18 years old, and a Journalism Major. I had to drop out for reason I don't feel the need to share on this. I'm a normal teenager. I party, I get into fight with my parents. I don't usually introduce myself as a Homosexual because It shouldn't matter, it doesn't really define who I am. But I am, so it's a major part of me. I like fashion, soI might mention somethings interesting.

What am I doing here?

Well as I mentioned before I'm a journalism major. So I'll be using this to write stories and blog about celebrities. I also like to give advice. I'm pretty much a motivational speaker. I've been through a lot so I feel as if I could help, and tell you it'll get better.