Boy in Mascara

I've cried to many tears
I just wanted to blog about; the bullying I had to suffer through. It started in the 5th grade, and continues till today. The one thing I dislike the most is that I'll never be able to be normal. All the bullies have made me feel as if I was a monster that had to be hidden inside a 'closet'  I was your normal 10 year old boy until everyone made fun of me. Being called a "Fag" the first time is something you'll never forget. Escpecially if it's from your best friend. I hate the word I hate it so much. I don't think any other kid in my graduating class has been traumitized by humliation like I was. Most kids can remember going to there best friends house for the first time, or going to the movies with there friends WithOut there parents. I never had any of that. I never sleeped over anyones house. I never baked cupcakes. I never got into a friends pool. Becuase of all the laughter I thought I was a freak. I stayed away from everyone. Is that justice, should a kid have to hide from his own classmates? Yes, I didn't play sports Yes, I did like fashion. No, it's not alright to make fun of me. I use to cry myself to sleep thinking I didn't have any friends. My mother called my teacher one day, and my mom asked her "Is he making any friends?" "Oh of course everyones friendly to him." LIES! Theirs a differnce between laughing with you, and laughing at you. After losing that emotion of sadness, I wanted revenage. How is it that a couple of kids and a laughter could make someone lose an emotion? I had a dream once that there was a hole bunch of kids just like me, that enjoyed the spice girls, and sparkles. And we would make fun of the kids in basketball shorts, and they would cry themselves to sleep. I woke up from that dream and yelled at myself to stop that. I knew that bullying was not alright in any way, in a form of revenage or anything. Girls would talk to me, about fashion, and I'd think were friends. Some kid would call me a fag and the girl would just start laughing. I'd get so mad, and go up to the girl and tell her "Your fat!" That is the one thing you know will hurt a girl. I would hate myself later but I still loved it. This is just a small portion of how I felt, I'll probably talk about it another time.